As I look more and more at this picture, I realize just how little my mom is - seriously, I look like I'm crushing her. Anyway, I was a total mess by the time my mom made it from the customs sliding door all the way down to end of the walkway to where I was. I had been bouncing in place, holding the lilies I had bought her, for over thirty minutes and Devin was laughing at me the whole time. It was actually ridiculous how emotional I was because as soon as I saw her I started shaking and then I was bawling by the time I was able to hug her. I keep thinking I’m imagining her and my aunt being here and that it is actually just a dream because it is so unreal seeing them sitting on the couch right next to me. I am overjoyed and filled with such an elated feeling I don’t know if I could ever come down from this high, so the fact that my birthday is in two days is just a minor detail.

Because my mom is one of the best people ever, she packed in her suitcase some of the necessities I have been craving for the past three months. JIF peanut butter, grape jelly, Velveeta macaroni and cheese, and frosted mini wheats. Holy moly – three months without a PB and J is so wrong; I never want to put myself through that again. Australia has every kind of jelly you could ever want, besides grape, and it’s been breaking my heart. JIF peanut butter is my all time fav and even though it is packed with sugar and hydrogenated oil – stuff that is “bad” for you – I choose to overlook those details. My mouth is already watering from the anticipation of eating my first bowl of mini wheats tomorrow morning for breakfast.

This past Sunday, Devin took me to an indoor rock climbing gym as a part of an early birthday present. It was such a neat gym because it was in the middle of the city, and all the walls of the facility were glass. That meant while you were dangling in the air you could also look out to the streets just to see how high up off the actual ground you were, which was great for my fear of heights…not. It’s like I have to remind myself I’m not going to die every time I climb because being up high freaks me out so much. Despite my fear, I absolutely love rock climbing though, so the fact that he took me for my birthday was a perfect gift. 

From this past Sunday to today, Devin and I have been Frisbee-ing, beaching, advil-ing, celebrating, and hanging out with some of the best people we’ve ever met. The Aussies who came to IU in the past years told us that Uni Games was something we had to take part in, and I’m so glad we listened to them. I now have a week full of memories that will forever be irreplaceable or unforgettable. I’m going to try my best to tell you all about my experiences this past week, and while I don’t even know where to begin, I’ll do my best not to leave anything out.

First off, the total amount of time we spent playing Frisbee this week amounted to 720 minutes – nine games in five days. We started off the week with three games on Monday, the first being at 8am and the last being at 3pm. The amount of pain I was in on Tuesday morning as I attempted to get out of bed was insane. Almost every part of my body was sore – my legs, my back, my abs – and it is all because each 80-minute game was filled with explosive sprinting and plenty cutting. The last time I had run as hard as I did this week was junior year track, which was almost four years ago. Needless to say I was a little rust, but pushing myself every day was totally worth it because I gained so much experience from it all. I can tell you one thing for sure though – my legs are loving the day off.

At the end of every day of competition, the one thing I wanted the most was just to sink into my bed and be hand fed because I was that exhausted, however it was Uni Games and sleeping wasn’t really on the agenda. Each night, our team of thirteen would gather in some of the boys’ hotel room to partake in what was called court.  Tiff, Brendan, and Chris – three amazing coaches and players who we looked up to all week – helped put together a booklet of information for us to reference all week. Included in each booklet was:

- A list of the rookies and veterans, each with their own made up biographies and nicknames. Mine was “No Worries Mate” and Devin’s was “Father”, which we were told was after a type of whiskey, and we were required to use everyone’s nicknames while court was in session. This became interesting for me because Devin’s name was changed midweek to “Daddy”, so just imagine how that was for me, referring to him as that; of course, everyone loved it.

- Jobs for the rookies of the team. Along with one of the lovely gals on our team, Gabby, her and I were assigned the role of shopaholics. So our role was to shop for the necessary food each day for the field and our team dinner, as well as the necessary boxed wine to help conduct our court sessions.

- Tasks that each person had to complete in the next 24 hours until the next court session. For instance, there were tasks such as “Kleptomaniac” where you had to collect as much stuff as possible while out or “I Think You’re Beautiful”, where you had to greet each new person you talked to with “I think you’re beautiful”.

So needless to say, the booklet didn’t have actually any important information regarding Uni Games itself, but that’s because if it did, it wouldn’t be fun to read.

Another part of court is that we came up with a set of rules we had to follow. There were two in particular that had the specific punishment of immediately dropping and doing ten pushups, plus one for the crowd and they were: 1) Not saying “mine” and 2) Replacing now with “meow”. To give you an idea of how much we were still screwing up by the end of the week, in less than 24 hours, our group had amounted to doing over 300 pushups. Another fun rule implemented by Tiff was she had given us our own army figurines, and every time she blew her whistle we had to strike that pose. Going along with my natural ability of zero luck, I had blindly picked the only helicopter figurine; so here’s another fun situation to imagine: me having to drop what I was doing to twirl around like a helicopter. Are you laughing yet?

Perhaps one of the funniest happenings of the week occurred yesterday, between Devin and another kid named Ollie. Tiff knew this kid pretty well, and had let me know that earlier in the week he had texted her saying “Who’s that super hot American?” referring to me. As a group we decided an appropriate reply would be a picture of Devin in a sexy posse dressed up as Tommy Pickles, complete with a bald cap, diaper, and baby bottle (the theme for the night was Childhood Heroes – I promise Devin doesn’t normally dress like that). We were all in stiches laughing, and we thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn’t. Later in the week Ollie challenged Devin to a arm wrestling contest, saying if he won, he would get to kiss me and if Devin won, then Ollie had to kiss him. Devin accepted the challenge and what was the end result? Devin was kissed by his first boy.

I feel so lucky I was able to be a part of this team and be surrounded by such crazy, amazing people; I know they are all going to be reasons why leaving Australia is going to be so hard. I honestly can’t stop smiling whenever I think of all that went on through the week, whether it was because one of the guys stuffed his shoes with potato tots for breakfast on the road or because of how we were all there for each other through the heat and stress of every game. I was warned that PUGD – Post Uni Games Depression – was a real thing, and I would definitely be a sufferer of it if it wasn’t for the fact MY MOM WILL BE HERE IN THREE DAYS. Anyone who wants to join her is more than welcome to. She leaves Sunday afternoon and I’ll leave it up to you to choose whether to make your arrival be known or a surprise.

I also forgot to mention that we placed 9th out of 22 teams. That’s pretty cool as well.

While I was gone for two weeks, I didn't stop journaling so I could remember all the wonderful things that happened on my vacation away from my vacation. In this post I'll include my entries from when Devin and I were in Coolangatta, and in the next one will be all about the shenanigans from Uni Games. 

September 25th 
Yesterday Devin and I ventured up north to Gold Coast to start off our spring break. Uni Games start this upcoming Monday but since we wanted to get in some quality relaxation and beach time of our own, we came up a few days early. We arrived at our hostel late afternoon and after buying the necessary groceries and beach accessories, we headed to the beach to soak up the last bit of sunlight. Devin, in his usual manual, ran straight into the frigid water, while I opted to sprawl out on my towel and read my book.

The hostel we are staying at is a block away from the beach and in every single way it is nicer than the student village back in Melbourne. Devin and I pay $30 a night to share a room with 8 bunk beds; there is a TV room with plenty of comfy couches and a movie selection, a community kitchen, and the bathrooms are nice enough that I don’t feel like wearing flip flops is a total necessity. I want to stay here forever and never go back to living in the jail cell I call home here in Australia. When I let myself think about it, I get so angry and sad at the same time for how much living at the student village blows. I forgot to mention that I just recently learned the village was a gift to VU from the Immigration Detention Center because it didn’t meet the standards for their detainees. Isn’t that so nice? Oh, and I’m about four years too early staying at the village because the property was just sold for $35 million to be torn down and have new student apartments be built. But I digress…

It’s hard to be upset today because this afternoon we learned how to surf! I had never worn a wet suit before, so I had actually doubted their usefulness until I walked into the water today – they keep you so warm! I’m a big wuss when it comes to water temperatures, so I need it to be pretty warm if I’m going to be swimming around in it; and given that it is still early spring here down under, a wet suit was completely necessary. I knew going into these lessons I knew absolutely nothing about surfing, but gosh – I really knew nothing about surfing. While they didn’t overload us with information, I was still struggling to remember the basic instructions of “lean forward” and “keep your head up”. You see, when you first start to actually get upright on a moving surfboard, your first instinct is to look down at your feet just to make sure it’s actually happening; however nine times out of ten, whenever you look down, you are bound to fall off your board. I was surprised to discover that the most exhausting part wasn’t getting up on the surfboard and holding my position. No the most exhausting part was having to get back into the surf while dragging my board along beside me. In general, the currents in Australia are pretty strong, and this beach was no exception. I was constantly being dragged to my left while simultaneously getting smacked in the face wave after wave. After two hours of that I was pretty dead, but it was so worth it because I was actually starting to get the hang of it. And as expected, Devin did so as well. He was already going out deeper than the rest of us dared to because he was too bored with the skill demands that the waves we were catching called for. We’re already psyched for tomorrow because to hire a surfboard for a day is only like $20, so you know what that means: I’m going to be swallowing a lot more salt water.

September 26th
I’ve decided that in many ways Devin resembles a puppy, in that he is always a ball full of energy, and if he is already up, there is no way you can continue to sleep undisturbed. Being out in the sun for five hours takes a lot out of you, so last night we were both passed out by eleven and I had every intention of sleeping in; however Devin had a different plan. He was up by eight and rummaging around eating cereal as I slowly came into consciousness, just sitting there with a big grin on his face, completely unaware of how loud his chewing was. Since I’m on vacation, I feel no rush to complete things, as I have the whole day to complete my activities – especially when I wake up at eight. Therefore I felt no rush as I lazily moved around washing my face and preparing my breakfast. I even came out onto the porch to read while munching on my Froot Loops, but my little puppy made it clear I wasn’t moving fast enough. He wanted to get out and surf, so I hurried along and we were down at the beach by 9:30. However to our disappointment, the waves were pretty nonexistent for surfing. The parts with the best waves were off limits for surfers because of two reasons, the first being the rocks and the second being the screaming children playing in the surf, neither of which would be fun to hit.

So what did we do all day? Because Devin needs to be moving every second of every day, we were playing Frisbee, we were exploring, and I even got in the water with him for a combined total of 45 seconds. Let me just say there was no getting used to the temperature. Devin swore by it, telling me I just had to get used to it, but every time a wave would smack against my body as I tried to jump out of its way, I would instantly be chilled to the bone. At lunchtime, Devin made sure to grab his boogie board and that became his playmate the second half of the day, leaving me to peacefully read my book. However towards the end of the day Devin suddenly became fascinated with my reaction to whenever he would get sand on me. He did this in various ways – simply tossing sand onto me, shaking his towel over my head, and then finally just romantically tripping me backwards so I fell, covering my whole backside and hair. You can bet I was cursing in the shower as I tried to get all of the sand out of the tangled mat of hair the ocean and wind had made it become.

As we sit out here on the porch of our hostel, I realize just how much I love the simple things. Even though this is only our third night here, Devin and I have already fallen into the routine of reading together while sharing a beanbag and enjoying the ocean breeze. While it seems like such an insignificant activity, it has become my favorite part of the past few days. I think there’s something contagious about living in a hostel and it has to do with everyone’s attitude because, for the most part, everyone seems so content and happy. From where I’m sitting, I can here a group of boys singing Usher together as they clean up their dishes. There are people that live at this hostel who work on a farm that make $50 a week, and each night they make a huge dinner together, all with smiling faces. What I’m saying is, it’s hard not to be at this place and not to be happy because it helps remind me that it is really the simple things in life that make you the happiest.

September 27th
It’s officially happened – I have my first real Australian sunburn. Thanks to the three hours of surfing this afternoon, I have a real nice burn line on both of my arms, the part in my hairline is fried, and my face is splotchy. The most annoying burns out of those three however are the ones on my arms, because they extend down from where my wet suit ended all the way down to my palms, and they itch like crazy. The burns also look quite freakish because my fingers are still pretty white, and where the burns begin on my upper arm are just below where my t-shirt line ends. I’m so unevenly colored it’s driving me crazy! In addition to the burns, I also have board rash on my forearms and knees, so needless to say my skin is not very happy with me.

As we were heading back to our hostel for the afternoon, Devin and I noticed everyone on the pathway in front of us looking out towards the sea. Wanting to fit in, we immediately tried to figure out what was captivating everyone’s attention. It didn’t take long to spot the whales offshore, breeching and spouting water from their blowholes. Granted they were pretty far away, but we were able to distinguish between the sizes and we decided one of them was a calf because of how small his splash was compared to the others. It was so magical, even from so far away, to see them just frolicking along, enjoying the warm, sunny day just as we were onshore. Anytime I see an animal, be it a dog, lizard, bunny, or whale, I get overwhelmed with a sense of joy that I was able to share part of my day with it. That can sound a little ridiculous I know, and granted I am definitely not thrilled to share my day with a spider or something that could kill me, but how often do we go throughout our days not noticing the small things? Seeing animals in their natural habitat, doing their thing, helps me realize that we share this planet with some amazing creatures and we should be more appreciative of them. PETA would be so proud…

September 28th
It’s crazy to think we have another week here at Gold Coast to soak up the sun. I honestly don’t know if my face can fit any more freckles, but I suppose this week I will find out.

Today though was pretty cloudy, so it was perfect that we had planned to visit some of our Frisbee friends up at Surfer’s Paradise. It was also the AFL Grand Final this afternoon, which is the Aussie equivalent to the super bowl, so it was a pretty big deal to some people. But for internationals, not so much, however the atmosphere that surrounded the game was entertainment enough. It made me feel like I was back in the states on spring break; the crappy motel room, the binge drinking that some were taking part in – it made me feel like I was in Panama City all over again. The whole experience was just a little peek into the week we are about to partake in, and I definitely need to treat it like a marathon and not a sprint, unless I want to die. I am absolutely stoked for the week ahead of us because I have absolutely no idea what to expect, besides knowing that the people I am going to be with are going to make it an amazing time. Tiff, one of the gals on my team, started talking to me today about how sad she already was that we won’t be here in a couple months, and I had to stop her as soon as she started that conversation. But now that she planted that seed of an idea in my thoughts, I have realized how hard it is going to be leaving the friends I have made here come December. They have become a part of my life and it’s terrifying to think that I will have to say goodbye to them for who knows how long, but that’s enough of that talk. I love my life here to say the least, besides my living accommodations, and the friendships I have made here will stay with me the rest of my life – I’m sure of it. 

We also just met this guy named James at our hostel, who is heading off to Surfer’s Paradise for Uni Games tomorrow as well, and he is studying to be a pilot. He’s been flying for three years, he is about to graduate, and has a lot of his piloting licenses already, so he seems legit. We’ve been talking to him for over two hours, and he’s a cool dude – so cool in fact, he’s offered to give us a free tour around Melbourne Bay in his plane. I want to pee my pants in fear just thinking about it, but how cool of an experience would that be? Granted it’s easy to talk big now and be all like “Flying? No I’m not scared. Take me up in your tiny plane!” but when it comes time to actually fly with him, I’ll have to reassess my attitude. 

Yesterday Devin and I adventured out on our bikes to the land of colorful shacks and Asian tourists – aka Brighton Beach. And while the weather was ever changing, it was still nice to feel the sand between my toes. I’m not sure how I feel about the whole biking to the beach to relax for a couple hours and then have to bike home thing though – it’s not fun having to exercise after sun bathing and unwinding for three hours. But it is nicer than being on a tram or a train though, so maybe it is worth it. I for sure will never ever think anything in Bloomington is far away after living here because it takes at least an hour to go into the city, and on the weekend when public transport isn’t as frequent, it usually takes longer than that. I do miss my car, but I’ve realized how accustomed I became to using it for short distances. Living in Melbourne has given me a new perception of distance, in that basically everything in Bloomington is bikeable or walkable. But given that it will be winter when I get home, chances are I’ll go right back to my old habits – I’ll admit it, I have my flaws.

After last night, I can successfully add lasagna to a dish I have learned to make thanks to the informal cooking lessons that Devin and I have been taking in his uncle’s kitchen. Granted we’re only up to three now, but hey it’s a start. It was quite an exciting night of cooking because I actually found something I am better at than Devin – chopping onions. Yes it’s true, I, Maddie Hayford, successfully chopped an onion without crying, while Devin was washing his eyes out in the sink. It is a moment that will forever be written in history. But seriously, this lasagna was da bomb. I hardly ever get seconds but last night I went up for thirds; good thing I had sweatpants on – expandable waistband!

I was able to experience the luxury of Australia’s thrift shops today because one of my gal pals and I had to go theme shopping for Uni Games. After each day of competition, there’s a themed party every night, so of course we have to dress up for the occasions. I’m so bummed I don’t have my AXiD Box O’ Random Articles of Clothing with me, but the stuff I bought today is definitely worthy of being added to the box. Don’t worry there will be plenty of pictures taken so you can see my wonderful taste in clothing. Devin is going to look pretty great too; one of the theme nights is childhood heroes, and he is being Tommy Pickles from Rugrats. His costume: a bald cap, diaper, and too small of a blue shirt. I wouldn’t let him shave his head, hence the bald cap. I'm a little terrified to see the final product.

I’m officially on spring break! Truth is, it doesn’t feel any different though. I mean usually there is this huge rush of relief as I walk out of my last class at IU, but here I feel so nonchalant about my classes all of the time that when I walked out of my last lecture yesterday I completely forgot to celebrate.

Good thing there was plenty of opportunity to celebrate last night though – we had a masquerade ball! It was put on by the student village and for the price of $50 we had free transportation, a three-course meal with enough hors d’oeuvres you could argue Devin had an eight-course meal, and a four-hour open bar. Let me go ahead and break the night down for you because it was actually one of my favorite experiences here in Australia so far.

After all the pre-ball photos were taken, we started to load up on the buses, which we discovered weren’t just any ole’ buses. No, they were Melbourne’s finest because we were riding in a fleet of buses from “The Pole Dance Bus” company. Decorated with silhouettes of respectable women, each bus came equipped with two stripper poles, a disco ball, and flashing lights. I couldn’t help but wonder what everyone on the street would think of all these buses in the middle of rush hour traffic on a Thursday night. Imagine trying to explain that to a little child. “Mommy, why are school buses driving around so late?” “Because Jimmy, strippers have to go to school too.” Luckily all the windows were blacked out as well so I didn’t have to worry about hiding my face.

Anyway, the stripper buses put my standard for the night at a pretty low level so when we walked up on a red carpet to this club, I wasn’t sure whether to take it seriously or not. Well, as soon as I walked in I knew I should take it seriously because oh my gosh this place was beautiful. As we entered the main room where all the festivities were being held, we were handed glasses of wine – classy – and then I was told I was required to keep my heels on all night – classier. We ate, we drank, we danced; it was all so amazing because of two reasons. The first being I had the best date anyone could ever ask for and the second reason being that even though we had to pay beforehand for the ticket, it was like you were getting everything for free, and let me tell you: I could get used to that treatment.  We were there for four hours but it went by so fast, like expected. But make sure to stalk me on Facebook, just so you can see how classy everyone and everything was.

And while I would have enjoyed not setting an alarm for this morning, I had signed up as a volunteer for VU’s biggest volunteer day of the year. I convinced Devin to come with me as well, so it wasn’t as awful getting up this morning knowing he wasn’t getting to sleep in either - hehe. It was an all day event, so everyone got to campus at 8am and then we were all randomly assigned to projects and places around the area for the day. For example, some people were gardening, some people were volunteering with Special Olympics, and Devin and I were painting. We were at a rec center – so like a YMCA basically – and we were helping with an art project entitled “Before I Die I Want To…” I included the link – here – so you can see the inspiration behind the project. Pretty neat, right? The problem was there were 15 of us to about twelve boards and then we had to wait two and a half hours between coats to allow each board to dry, so needless to say we had a lot of down time. That led to Devin and I spending a lot of time making up random games with a deflated soccer ball to pass the time. For example: trying to get the ball in the basketball hoop in the coolest way. Devin won because it was one of those moments that needed to be recorded because he wasn’t even looking at the ball or basket when he kicked it off to his side, but he somehow swished it in. I attempted to recreate such a nonchalant move but of course, it didn’t work. 

Steallower [n]: someone who "borrows" your stuff, without asking permission, so it's pretty much like stealing, and attempts to make it seem like the act never happened; see example below.

I find it rare in my schedule when I really have nothing to do, because I seem to be good at taking up my spare time by doing something. When I say nothing to do, I mean me time, getting to do whatever I want and not having to worry about anything or anyone else. I don’t like having too much of this time because I feel like a hermit, but this past Friday evening/most of Saturday I had all to myself and it was awesome. Yes, Friday night was one of those times where I was excited to sleep because I honestly had nothing to wake up for. There’s something about not having to set an alarm that instantly makes that night’s sleep instantly ten times better – I know you all know that feeling. So what did I do in this time? After my luxuriously long shower and my hair in pigtails, I treated myself to watching Despicable Me; I painted both my fingernails and toes, which is something that rarely ever happens; I watched too many YouTube videos, and I stalked copious amounts of people on Facebook. The whole point of me time is to not be productive, and in a nutshell, that was my Friday night.

Now to balance out my low-key Friday night, my Saturday night was quite the opposite. Tegan, one of the lovely Aussies on my ultimate team, had her 21st party, and it also happened to be Lesley’s 21st as well; so the night started off at Tegan’s party, which Devin and I went together to. Because I had to leave early to get back to the student village before the crew left for the city to celebrate Lesley’s birthday, I was paranoid about not getting to spend enough time at Tegan’s. So what ended up happening? Devin and I showed up right on time, and we were the first guests, besides Tegan’s immediate family. I understand the whole “fashionably late” thing because people want to avoid the awkwardness that is inevitable at the beginning of every party, but in last night’s situation that just meant that more finger food and comfortable seating was available. We were also in a prime viewing area to watch Tegan’s adorable slideshow of pictures, with the age range covering baby to current day. Since I left early, I missed pretty much everything fun, which was a bummer because Devin told me that there were speeches, lap dances, and even more finger food to enjoy. Alas, my commitments took me into the middle of the city to help ring in Lesley’s big 2-1. It’s funny that even though the drinking age is 18 here, 21st birthdays are still a pretty big deal in Australia. It’s just another American influence on Aussie culture, because there is literally nothing special for your 21st here besides, you know, the whole celebrating your life part. With Lesley adorned in her birthday sash and tiara we went to a club called Anyway. We actually got in this time too, so Maddie got to experience her first dance club in Australia. It was three levels, with different areas for different kinds of music. Despite the variety of music and fun time that was had, it was still hard for me to justify spending twenty dollars for cover because I prefer the activities that fall under the single digits or free category.

And how did I spend my Sunday? After a relaxing bout of morning yoga, I laid out and got my first minor Australian sunburn. Spring break does start this Friday, so I like to think it’s in good preparation for the two weeks I’ll be spending in the sun.  

Even though my shadowing hours at the gym technically ended last week, I was able to find another trainer to shadow; the one whose dog I like to take for walks. This guy, Luke, started his own personal training business when he was 23 years old and has so many clients that love him it’s ridiculous. Obviously I want to be him, but not in a creepy way, just in a “I really look up to you, teach me everything” kind of way. So the fact that I get to follow him around is awesome because I learn heaps of stuff.  Another awesome thing is that I just got hired to make phone calls for their business, which pays me $20 an hour. If you’ve fallen out of your seat from shock, my apologies.

Anyway, one of the things Luke and his staff have gotten really into recently is this kind of therapy practice called dry needling. For people who have a tight muscle or area on their body, to relieve tension and stimulate repair they will get needles stuck into them. It’s kind of like acupuncture, but better. Instead of finding a trigger point and just leaving the needle to hang out for a bit, these needles are capable of being twisted so that they grab onto your muscle and essentially tear it. I know that description might have contorted your face out of horror, but let me calm you back down. The needle width is equivalent big at all. This means that the tearing that is happening to your muscle is actually in an incredibly small area. I know it sounds wonky, but because of the damage each needle creates, it encourages blood flow to the area, which stimulates the healing process. Go ahead and Google an image of dry needling just so you can get the full effect. I think the slogan for the practice should be something along the lines of: it only takes ten minutes to become a pincushion, so try it today!

I’ve been dealing with some hip issues lately and to help out with the pain, the doctor I’ve been seeing suggested I take up swimming. Well, isn’t it just so convenient that my boyfriend happens to be an amazing swimmer? Today was our first training session in the pool and I’m happy to report I didn’t drown. And even though I swallowed copious amounts of water, I am now more confident with my freestyle stroke. I’m not used to participating in something that requires me to restrict my breathing, so that’s why I kept swallowing water. Coordinating my breathing to go along with my strokes and to never forget to stop kicking proved to be a workout just for my brain. In order to reduce the embarrassment I felt from being in a pool, I purchased goggles with dark lenses so that no one could see my eyes; one for disguise and two because I remember the realization I had as a child that goggles made me look like some sort of alien species.

In a completely unrelated note, before I came to Australia I was attempting to change my signature that I’ve had since fourth grade. I couldn’t have picked a more inconvenient time to try and switch my signatures because down here, for any credit card signature they compare it to the one on the back of your card – every single time. I’m talking like even at the self-checkout at the grocery store. Everyone knows the pen pads for electronic signatures make anyone look like they’ve never written before, so the fact that today while checking out, an employee had to come over and verify my signature, stunned me. To be completely honest, I don’t which signature was worse – the electronic one or the one on the back of my card – and I’m ashamed to admit that. In all fairness, I was trying to change, but I’m worried I might get arrested for credit card fraud if I don’t use my old signature. Ah, the struggles. 

I like to think for every bad experience, there should be at least, like, five to even it all out. So while Saturday night was the bad experience, Monday night was one of the good times to lessen the hurt from the weekend. Monday nights are usually when we have our frisbee games, but this week we had a bye so we decided going out was solid alternative. We went to our coach’s house for a BBQ beforehand, and then we headed out to this place called Turf. I had attempted to go there the first week of class, but the line to get in was way too long, so I made sure this time we got there around 9:30 to avoid that issue. When we got there, there was a decent amount of people, but a small enough crowd you could flail your arms around or walk with a drink in your hand without hitting someone; by the time Devin and I left, which was about 11:45, you could barely move because it was so packed. Needless to say, we got there at the right time. We had a blast with the team, and we realized just how crazy Uni Games are going to be with this crowd. It’s no secret Aussies like to drink, but oh my gosh – they really do. One of the guys on the team bought all the boys four rounds of bourbon and coke in the time span of probably 20 minutes. After the first round, we were all like “awe, how nice of the guy – good on yah”. When he came back a second time, and everyone was like “oh, jeez another one? Okay!” The third time, my jaw dropped, and then the forth time I had to blink my eyes just to make sure I was seeing straight. Oh and here’s another Aussie term for you: sculling. It’s the equivalent to chugging, but I think it sounds scarier; so if you don’t do it something bad, could happen to you.

In my times going out and simply just people watching, I've noticed another piece of fashion I don’t understand, and they are the chunky sandals – that’s the best description I could come up with. Now I get platform heels and wedges; those are arguably a little chunky, but not like the sandals here that are all the rage. Maybe since I’ve been gone for a while, these have caught on in the states as well, but I…eek, it’s one trend I won’t be partaking in if they have. I posted a picture of a pair to try and give you an idea of what I’m talking about. They are simply strappy sandals, but instead of being flat on the ground, they are elevated, like, 2 or 3 inches off the ground and most of them look like they could be used to angrily stomp at something. It makes no sense to me and they are everywhere. I’m surprised the guys haven’t picked them up yet, but I guess they are still hooked on their tight capris.

In a completely unrelated note to partying, Australia had their elections this Saturday. Everyone I talked to leading up to the elections seem to equally despise both candidates, so it seemed like they had to pick the lesser of the two evils. Tony Abbott is the new Prime Minister, and like expected a lot of people aren’t too happy about it. I should have followed the policies of each candidate more closely, but I didn’t, however I do know a couple of Abbott’s that I can tell you I don’t support – I won’t get all political on you though. 

In celebration of Frankie, the other guy from IU here, turning 22, we got a huge group together to go out into the city. We even had a Facebook event for it, which just shows you how excited we all were to celebrate a birthday together. Lesley, the other girl from IU here, was awesome and earlier in the week messaged the club we wanted to go asking if there were any birthday specials. It seemed too good to be true because this is what we were told was included: free entry for the birthday guest with two free drink cards and reduced entry cost and VIP entry for all their guests. The people at the club told Lesley all we had to do was walk up to the bouncer and tell them we were on Frankie’s list and we’d get in, no problem.

Oh, but too bad there was a problem – a really big problem. The problem was that the bouncer was a…not a nice person, and he just turned us down as soon as we got there. I debated being professional and not using the club’s name in this post, but I decided I was professional enough by not telling you all what I really thought about the bouncer. The club was Cloud Nine and I don’t think I can put into words just HOW MUCH I HATE CLOUD NINE. I WAS SO ANGRY. FEEL THE EMPHASIS WITH THE CAPS. We had like twenty of us all together, ready to go, buy drinks, and have a great time, and for no reason at all we weren’t let in. I had told Lesley to bring her phone just in case we ran into any issues at the door, and even though she was attempting to show the bouncer the messages on her phone, he still didn’t let us in. The bouncer we were dealing with was clearly enjoying his authority roll, because he told the other bouncers not to talk us. It was one of those situations where you are in shock because of how ridiculous it was. It was maybe 11:30 by the time we got there a.k.a not a long line, which means there wasn’t a capacity issue they had to worry about. We also had plenty of fine lookin’ women ready to mingle and they outnumbered the number of guys we had, so the girl to guy ratio wasn’t an issue either. I know that sounds ridiculous, but clubs won’t let guys in who are either by themselves, in a group with only guys, or if the girl to guy ratio is too small. None of us were being rude, none of us were hammered, and if anyone was, they were hiding it well. We were all convinced that we were just discriminated against for being foreign. And I know that also sounds stupid, but we even tried to just go in the regular line and the bouncer told us to leave. I honestly have never wanted to punch someone in the face so bad as I wanted to last night and it would have been a fair fight too, because the bouncer and I were the same height.  

After all that drama though, the birthday boy got to celebrate his birthday at another establishment that welcomed foreigners, and that is all that matters. I also found out that the Salvation Army walks around at night distributing flip flops to girls whose feet can no longer bear the pain their heels have caused them. You all would have been proud of me though because I lasted all night in my heels, which is quite the accomplishment if I do say so myself. And no falling or twisting my ankles took place either. So for my feet, it was a good night.

Perhaps the only reason I want to remember last night is because of the fact I cut Devin’s hair for the first time. Granted it was with clippers that had a guard on them, but it was still insanely nerve-wracking. I've attempted to cut his hair before but here is the situation that usually unfolds:

I turn on the clippers. 
I half way close my eyes as I near Devin's head with them.
Devin accuses me of running against the curve of his head too softly, which means I'm not cutting any hair at all.
I am overcome with anxiety and run out of the bathroom squealing.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy that has as much hair as Devin either. I had him stand in the shower while I was cutting it, and after all was said and done, the collected hair looked like a legitimate wig.