I am truly in awe of the fact I am on the flight home. The last 24 hours have left me incredibly emotionally drained and also severely dehydrated, due to the fact that the rate and intensity at which my tears have fallen has far exceeded the rate at which I could rehydrate. It’s kind of a grim way to measure, but I think the importance and depth of a relationship can definitely be linked to how many tears you shed. I don’t consider myself an overly emotional person, which means when I cry, shit has gotten real and ladies and gentleman, I can officially say shit has gotten real. I am leaving the life I created for myself, along with the people who filled it with such richness and joy and I feel like if I hadn’t cried, then something would be wrong.

I am finding it extremely hard to unscramble the chaotic state of my brain and put into words the ways in which the past five months have changed my life. The tears that have fallen and the ache I feel in my heart right now just reaffirms what Australia has done for me. I feel so much fuller and so much happier with the memories and experiences I have to bring back with me and I never want to forget this feeling. It so unfortunate that you never really understand how amazing something is until it is gone. I never could have dreamed my time here would have the impact it did on me, and I can’t help but giggle at all the fears I had when I left in July. Five months later, I am a new woman – watch out!

Flying internationally without my dad has the possibility to be one of the most stressful situations ever. Deciding when to get to the airport, trying to find a parking spot, wondering if my bag is too heavy – for some reason all of these situations would have not raised my blood pressure so much if my father had been present. I think having to be completely responsible for everything is what had my blood pressure higher than normal; my dad always has everything under control and my mom can quell any worry with the touch of her hand. The synopsis of the situation? I want my mommy and daddy. I reckon that the ache in my heart will start to subside once we land in LA because then this whole situation will start to seem real, and it will definitely be gone once I am running to jump into my parents’ arms in Indianapolis.

What now? Well, we have 13 hours left until we reach LA. In that time, I will put up with the woman sitting behind me who is tapping her screen, that is located in my headrest, with such vigor I can’t imagine what she is doing; I will see how many movies and seasons of The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family I can get through; and I will see if I can actually sleep at all. And after we land? Deal with my swollen ankles, and then turn on my iPhone.


Leave a Reply.